Wolf Man - The best summary EVER!

Here’s a summary of The Wolf Man (1941), starring Lon Chaney Jr.:

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"The Wolf Man": A Cautionary Tale About Hairy Problems and Poor Life Choices

So in the movie there's this guy named Larry Talbot, played brilliantly by Lon Chaney Jr., who returns to his ancestral home in Wales after spending years in California doing something vague and not at all involving werewolves. He's the kind of guy who thinks peeping through a telescope at a woman and then casually showing up at her job is an acceptable way to make friends. (Spoiler: It’s not.)

Anyway, Larry buys a fancy silver walking stick with a wolf on it, which as everyone except Larry knows, is basically like putting a "Bite Me" sign on your back in Werewolf. Sure enough, he uses it to bludgeon a werewolf to death after getting attacked one foggy night—which sounds heroic until you realize that the werewolf was actually a local fortune teller dude named Bela, who probably should’ve stuck to Tarot cards and minding his own business.

This is where Larry’s life takes a turn for the slightly inconvenient, in the sense that he now turns into a bloodthirsty werewolf every time there's a full moon. This is awkward, especially because Wales apparently has a full moon every other night in this movie. Of course, Larry starts sprouting fur, murdering villagers, and waking up in hedges like the world’s worst pub crawl.

Meanwhile, no one believes him, because back then they didn’t have Google and people thought “lycanthropy” was just a fancy way of saying “needs therapy.”

Eventually, Larry’s dad, played by Claude Rains (who is about 5 inches shorter than his son), decides the best way to help is to beat his werewolf son to death with the same silver cane. It’s touching. In a really twisted, Greek-tragedy-meets-dog-grooming kind of way.

Moral of the story: Don't spy on women with telescopes, don't mess with gypsy curses, and never accept a silver-handled cane from a creepy antique shop unless you really want to ruin your week.

Also, full moons are a total pain in the neck.