Tuesday, May 26, 2026

King Tut's Tomb

 



I've always been pretty fascinated with ancient Egyptian history. It is a very interesting field that deals with tombs, rocks, hieroglyphics, sand, pyramids, pharaohs, and mummies.

One of these Pharoahs, which in ancient Egypt meant a "king/god person", was King Tuhantamun. Which literally translates to: King Tut.

The tomb of King Tut, was discovered in 1922 by archaeologist Howard Carter, who apparently spent several years digging around the Valley of the Kings thinking, “There has GOT to be one more rich dead guy left around here somewhere.” And against all odds, there was. 

This was a major archaeological discovery because most Egyptian tombs had already been looted centuries earlier by grave robbers, corrupt officials, souvenir hunters, and probably somebody’s cousin named “Neferuthumose the Sketchy” or whatever. But King Tut’s tomb survived pretty much intact because it was buried under debris and hidden so well that for over 3,000 years nobody noticed there was an entire pharaoh underneath what looked like a dirt parking lot. 

Ironically, Tutankhamun himself was not considered a particularly important pharaoh. He ruled briefly, died young, and spent much of his reign basically trying to clean up the theological yard sale left behind by his father, Akhenaten, who had attempted to replace Egypt’s entire religion with what was essentially sun worship. Not like people heading to the beach. No, he believed, the disc of the sun was an actual god. (Not surprisingly it did not catch on.) 

Anyway, because Tut died unexpectedly at around age 18 or 19, the Egyptians apparently had to rush his burial. His tomb was smaller than those of other pharaohs and stuffed floor-to-ceiling with over 5,000 objects including gold coffins, jewelry, chariots, statues, furniture, clothing, ceremonial items, and enough decorative material to make a Las Vegas casino manager whisper, “Maybe we could tone it down a little.” 

The most famous item was Tut’s golden funerary mask, which became one of the best-known artifacts in history and also permanently established the ancient Egyptian principle that if you are going to be dead for 3,000 years, you should at least accessorize properly. 

Then came the “Curse of the Pharaohs,” which started after Carter’s financial backer, George Herbert, 5th Earl of Carnarvon, died shortly after the tomb was opened. This caused newspapers worldwide to lose their minds and suggest that ancient Egyptian spirits were murdering people from beyond the grave. It also gave rise to several Mummy movie franchises which has made a lot of money in Hollywood. In reality, the curse mostly resulted in what today would be called “very aggressive media marketing.” 

Meanwhile Carter and his team spent YEARS cataloging everything because ancient Egyptians apparently believed that when you die you will need all the same things you needed in life, including furniture, sandals, board games, walking sticks, snacks, tiny boats, jewelry, ceremonial daggers, and approximately sixteen metric tons of golden trinkets. Archaeologists opened boxes only to discover more boxes inside, which is proof that even in 1323 BC people already understood the core principle of Amazon-style shipping.

Today most of the treasures are housed in museums in Egypt, while Tut himself remains in the tomb, where millions of tourists shuffle past every year whispering things like, “Wow,” and, “I can’t believe this survived,” and, “Honey, we do NOT need another plastic sphinx from the gift shop.”

The Servant Girl Annihilator Case (1880's)

 




Back in the 1880s, the city of Austin, Texas was trying really hard to become a respectable modern city. It had politicians, railroads, restaurants, fancy hotels... and apparently a homicidal maniac roaming around at night killing innocent people like some kind of Satanic side quest (unlocked by accident). Yeah, nothing puts a damper on your gentrification efforts like a serial killer roaming loose in town.

This psycho became known as the “Servant Girl Annihilator,” which is a snappy name that sounds less like a serial killer and more like the title of an obscure heavy metal album from 1987. Whoever (or whatever) it was, it murdered at least eight people between 1884 and 1885, mostly servant women who were attacked in their sleep with axes, knives, iron rods, or whatever else happened to be lying around that could be repurposed into an instrument of destruction. 

Austin authorities responded to this situation with the efficiency and competence you would expect from 1880s law enforcement, meaning they arrested approximately half the town. At one point more than 400 men were rounded up, which was essentially the police strategy of “The killer must be a male.” narrowing it down further... a human male.

Not surprisingly, the murders terrified the city. Citizens formed armed patrols. People locked themselves indoors at night. Newspapers lost their minds. Witness descriptions were, shall we say, not very helpful, unless your goal was to make every person on Earth a potential suspect simultaneously. The suspect was variously described as white, black, mixed-race, disguised, barefoot, wearing women’s clothing, wearing a slouch hat, accompanied by accomplices, or possibly a shapeshifting wizard capable of turning invisible because apparently neighborhood dogs never barked.

Meanwhile, the city’s wealthy leadership initially treated the murders with the urgency of a DMV employee clocking into work. Most early victims were black servant women, so officials basically reacted with: “What a terrible tragedy. Now, about those paving contracts.” Public panic only truly detonated after two white women were murdered on Christmas Eve 1885, at which point everybody suddenly realized that serial murder was, in fact, a bad thing.

The killings themselves were unbelievably brutal. Victims were attacked in bed, dragged outside, mutilated, and posed in bizarre ways. In several cases, sharp objects were shoved into the victims’ ears, which is the kind of detail that makes modern true crime podcasters sit upright and say things like, “There were serial killers in the old west?” 

Naturally, because humanity cannot resist turning horror into fan fiction, people later wondered whether the Servant Girl Annihilator might actually have also been Jack the Ripper. This theory was based largely on the scientific principle of “Hey, both guys killed people.” Serious researchers reject the connection as poppycock because the methods were wildly different, but that has not stopped generations of amateur detectives from squinting at maps and yelling, “The timelines kind of sort of overlap!” on internet forums.

One suspect that rose to the top of the list was a young cook named Nathan Elgin, who reportedly lived near the crime scenes, had a violent history, and was missing a toe that may have matched footprints found near the murders. Conveniently, he was later shot dead by police while allegedly attacking another woman, which in old-timey America apparently qualified as a background check. Coincidentally, or maybe not, the crimes stopped after that. 

To this day, the murders remain officially unsolved. Austin’s first famous serial killer continues to hover over Texas history like a ghostly reminder that before the city became known for tacos, tech startups, and pale scraggly, flip-flop wearing men named Bryson (playing "hip" ukulele music), it was briefly victimized by a horrifying reality TV style slasher nobody asked for.

Thursday, May 21, 2026

Musical Genres I Prefer (and why)

 




There are many musical genres I appreciate and/or LOVE. 

In this post I am going to list them in order of importance (to me). I will also explain to you WHY I like it.

#01. Rock. (+Southern Rock, +Americana, +Indie Rock, +Alternative Rock, +Punk, +Blues Rock) I was immediately drawn to rock from a young age because my brothers would play their music for me. The Beatles, Eagles, Pink Floyd, Joe Cocker (John), Neil Diamond (Randy), T-Rex, etc. I was exposed to all types. Later in high school I was drawn to Heartland Rock (Springsteen, Mellencamp, Petty, Seger), AOR (Journey, Foreigner, Survivor), and Southern Rock (Lynyrd Skynyrd, Blackfoot, Molly Hatchet, 38 Special, etc.). I was drawn to Hard Rock through a particular 8-Track tape called "Ridin' High" by Moxy. I was drawn in to Southern Rock through ZZ Top (thanks MTV) which led me to Lynyrd Skynyrd and then to Molly Hatchett and Blackfoot. I was drawn to AOR though Journey. Steve Forrester played Journey for me, and I was hooked. I found Heartland Rock, and singer-songwriter stuff (Springsteen, Mellencamp) through MTV (Thanks MTV). That led me to Tom Petty, Bob Seger, Tom Waits, etc. Americana is basically Steve Earle who I saw on MTV (thanks MTV). MTV had a HUGE influence on my musical taste early on. This led me to The Bottle Rockets, Son Volt, Uncle Tupelo, etc. I heard about a type of rock called "Lo-Fi" so I looked it up in a book. The book suggested Guided By Voices was the archetypical lo-fi rock band. I saw them on HBO Reverb in 2001. Something clicked in me. I became and fan that night, and I still am to this day. 25 years now. Bruce  Springsteen has always been my favorite, though he has become a laughing stock nowadays because of his stupid woke political views. Sad. Nevertheless, his 1975-1985 period is great! Also, my dad had some rock related stuff in his massive record collection. I found old Buddy Holly records (which I REALLY got into as a child), and Tony Joe White, and Johnny Cash... Elvis... There was a lot of stuff.

#02. Country. (+Alt Country, +Texas Country) My father turned me on to country from the time I was a wee lad. Johnny Cash, Marty Robbins, Buck Owens (Thanks Hee-Haw), and Hank Williams. Heard "Country Boy Can Survive" on the radio and was drawn to Hank Jr. Heard "Devil Went Down To Georgia" on the radio and got into Charlie Daniels. That led me to bands like The Marshall Tucker band and the Outlaws, which connected back up with Southern Rock. Jason and the Scorchers was in there too. My dad had all kinds of country records in his massive record collection. I explored these with great vigor.

#03. Blues. Discovered it after getting into ZZ Top. Realized that ZZ Top is hugely influenced by traditional blues (like John Lee Hooker). After I saw the movie "Crossroads" in 1986, I got into the Delta blues, BIG TIME. This led me to Howlin' Wolf, and Muddy Waters (and many others). I explored the Chess record label. Through the Blues Brothers movie (which came out in 1980) I discovered Stax/Volt, Mussel Shoals, etc. In the later 80's and early 90's, this led me into Wilson Pickett, Sam & Dave, Booker T & The MG's, etc. My dad had a Son House record in his collection. I dug on that after seeing that "Crossroads" movie. Later discovered Skip James, and Johnny Shines (me and Dad even saw him live, amazingly), and other blues legends. Found out about the Alligator Record label in about 1990 or so, and my blues love affair hit high gear! Hound-Dog Taylor... 'nuff said.

#04. Folk. I got into folk (and folk-rock) by getting into Bob Dylan. Also Springsteen's Nebraska album really launched me toward folk as well. I really got into that stripped-down three-chords-and-the-truth ethos. My dad had lots of folk records in his expansive and wide-ranging collection. Johnny Cash represented this too. I also found a guy named John Gorka who I liked a lot. He kind of lost steam... but his first half-dozen albums or so are brilliant.

#05. Reggae. I heard Bob Marley on TV and was hooked. This led me to artists like Peter Tosh (limited), and Jimmy Cliff (VERY limited). There was also a minor Springsteen component too. He had some slight reggae dabbling (most notably "Trapped"). Which caught my attention. But it was mostly a Bob Marley thing. I like early ska, and Rocksteady (precursor's to Reggae). Some of that sounds really cool.

#06. Jazz. In my youth, I never really got into Jazz per se. But I really liked some of it (Vince Guaraldi... Peanuts... Jazz). Later I kind of warmed up to it more thanks to Tom Waits' earlier stuff. To this day, I like the white shirt and tie, horn-rim glasses era of Jazz. Like the 60's era. There was also a samba/jazz guitarist named Bola Sete whose album I was exposed to thanks to my Dad's EXTREMELY eclectic record collection. I thought it sounded pretty cool. Turns out he worked with Vince Guaraldi so you see how this stuff begins to inter-connect.

#07. Classical. When I saw the movie "Amadeus" around 1985 or so, I really got into Classical music hard core. I came to a realization that these dudes were the "rock stars" of their day. I found it incredible that they found a way to preserve their music even without recording devices. They "wrote" music down on Paper. Like you and I write words. That's fascinating to me. Some of the earliest stuff preserved like this is from 1724. Mind boggling! By the way, as a kid I found Beethoven records in my Dad's records. I REALLY got into it. As a kid! He had a lot of classical stuff and opera in his records. Some opera is very mo

All of the different music I was exposed to as a youth and as I grew up went a long way toward making me the musical person I am today. When I was 12 or so, I started trying to play the guitar. 

To this day I write music constantly. But my personal music making is for another day and another post.

You will notice one main genre that is not present here. Rap/Hip-Hop. I think Rap/Hip-Hop could be good. I have appreciated SOME (very limited) rap/hip-hop in the past. So yeah, it has potential. But as a musical form it runs contrary to music in general, in my opinion. There is limited to zero instrumentation. It is devoid of melody and tune (mostly). I often say it is "music" for people who don't understand music. Most importantly though, the lyrics promote vile hedonism, narcissism, anti-authoritarian behavior, anti-Law, anti-traditional family values, and greed. There is also a strong element of racism, divisiveness, and promotion of thuggery. Who needs it!!! No thanks!




Early Reggae, Rocksteady, Ska

 



If you like this type of groove, check out this playlist...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9N2DEzQ208&list=PLE4mKoUG301U_2jXhyzI_7-vX504T423o

Wednesday, May 20, 2026

This French Guy Named Tarrare (He Ate Puppies!)

 

This story haunts me.


There was once this guy named Tarrare — living proof that somewhere in history, the gods looked down at France and said, “What if we made a guy with the appetite of a black hole?”

Tarrare was an 18th-century Frenchman whose defining personality trait was apparently: “I'm still hungry.” Not “I like food.” Not “I enjoy a hearty meal.” No. This man treated the concept of eating the way industrial shredders treat abandoned Buicks.

As a teenager, he could eat most of a cow in a single day and still wander around looking like someone who had just finished a light salad. His family eventually kicked him out because feeding him was economically comparable to feeding a medium-sized army.

So naturally, Tarrare joined a traveling band of thieves, prostitutes, and street performers. And because when you possess the supernatural ability to swallow mounds of apples, rocks, corks, and live animals, the entertainment industry comes a-calling, he became a Paris sideshow attraction, delighting audiences everywhere with acts that caused nauseated spectators to mutter things like, “I wish I had not seen that.”

Doctors later examined him and concluded several important scientific facts, including:

  1. He could eat an entire meal meant for 15 laborers.
  2. He smelled so horrifying that people reportedly couldn’t stand within 60 feet of him.
  3. The approach to medicine in the 1700s was basically “let’s see what happens.”

The descriptions of his body odor are especially impressive. Witnesses claimed he stunk so bad that the stench rose off his body in visible stink lines (like in cartoons) after eating, like a freshly cooked turkey on a cold morning. But with more stink.

Then the French military — displaying the sound judgment for which late-1700s Europe is famous — decided this horrifyingly vile man should become a spy. Their plan was simple: have Tarrare swallow secret documents, sneak behind enemy lines, then… recover the documents later after nature called, through what historians technically refer to as “the worst recovery mission in military history.”

Perhaps not shockingly, this plan did not go well.

The Prussians caught him almost immediately because apparently a stinking, steaming Frenchman frantically asking where the bathroom is tends to attract attention.

Back in the hospital, things somehow became even MORE unappetizing. 

Tarrare drank blood drawn from patients, ate garbage, carrion, body parts in the morgue, cats, puppies, a toddler... Yes, that's right, a toddler went missing, and he was was suspected of eating him (or her) — which is the sort of accusation that can really damage your reputation.

Modern readers naturally wonder: “Was there a medical condition that caused this?”

The answer from history is essentially: “We have absolutely no clue, but let's see what happens.”

Tarrare eventually died at a fairly young age after years of horrifying everyone within smelling distance. I know. You're shocked. During the autopsy, doctors reportedly found his insides were an absolute catastrophe, medically speaking. Ravaged by sores and pus everywhere. Ew!! Which I guess makes sense, because by this point his digestive system had spent years processing a diet consisting mainly of disgusting meat, garbage, and other hideous dinner selections that no self-respecting non-zombified human should ever make.

The whole story is disturbing.

If you want more info, check this out...

https://www.ripleys.com/stories/tarrare


My Most Influential Books #70: The Time Machine by H.G. Wells

 


I can't recommend this book enough. I read it over the course of two nights when I worked at Posada Ana Inn back in 1999. Great book! The part where here he accidentally goes into the extremely distant future is pretty harrowing. Cool book!



































I also read "the Island Of Dr. Moreau" at that time as well. Also great!

My Most Influential Books #69: Tales From Shakespeare (Charles & Mary Lamb)

 


Shakespeare's third appearance in this series. These are narrative versions of these classic Shakespeare stories. 

















https://archive.org/details/talesfromshakesp0000arth_c6n4/mode/2up

Tuesday, May 19, 2026

My Most Influential Books #68: Kingdoms of Europe, An Illustrated Encyclopedia Of Ruling Monarchs from Ancient Times to The Present

 




https://archive.org/details/kingdomsofeuropeanillustratedencyclopediaofrulingmonarchsfromancienttimestothepresent_202003/mode/2up

He also made this one too which was also very cool!




More Historical "Hotties" (Dateable Women of History)


In a previous post made long before the advent of AI, I posited the potential of "dating" women from history. Notorious and/or famous women of history. This was back in 2012. Wow. I was 45 then. I'm 58 now. So, things change.

Anyway, THAT list was made up of:

#1: Eve

#2: Eva Braun (NOW REJECTED - Butterface and OLGISP*)

#3: Cleopatra

#4: Mata Hari (Semi-Rejected. Unfortunately she OLGISP*)

#5: Frida Kahlo (Now Rejected - too hairy! Haha! And also OLGISP* as well)

A few others mentioned were Lady Godiva, Salome, Joan Of Arc, Helen of Troy, and Nefertiti.

============================================================

Well, here is round two. Opinions change. Eva Braun is out! LOL! We are in 2026 and this is the age of AI images. 

For instance, how about Elizabeth Bathory? You've heard of her, right? A terrible human being. But take a look... would you date her? I probably would. 
















So the question we are answering is: "Would you date this woman?"

Here is Cleopatra: Yes. The answer is YES.










Here is Eve: Yes. Definitely YES.










Helen of Troy? Yep. Absolutely!






















How about Joan of Arc: Sure. Not too crazy about the hair, but hey. Maybe?

































How about Bathsheba? David's temptress. Yes. Very much yes.
































How about Lady Godiva? Here she is... with more clothes than usual ;-P































Queen Joan of Navarre.. Not bad!
































Princess Isabelle Zapolya (age 20), of Transylvania... YES!



























Mata Hari... she was pretty nice looking! I dig the exoticness. Is that a word?




























*Only Looks Good In Some Pictures

Monday, May 18, 2026

In Common (My Plea to Mankind)

 





Every human being, regardless of race, sex, nationality, language, culture, or social status, shares a remarkably deep set of things IN COMMON. Some are biological, some psychological, some moral, and some spiritual or existential.

Biological Commonalities

All humans:

  • Are members of the same species: Homo sapiens
  • Share overwhelmingly similar DNA
  • Are born, grow, get old, and eventually die
  • Need food, water, sleep, shelter, and oxygen to live
  • Feel pain and physical pleasure
  • Experience sickness and vulnerability
  • Possess brains, nervous systems, emotions, and senses
  • Reproduce through the same biological processes
  • Share the same basic bodily systems (heart, lungs, blood, etc.)
  • Require care and protection during infancy
  • Experiences certain physical limitations
  • Has emotions tied to chemistry and cognition
  • Is vulnerable to fear, stress, fatigue, and suffering
  • Has a capacity for reproduction and family bonding
  • Shares universal bodily experiences like hunger, thirst, exhaustion, and physical affection

Emotional Commonalities

All humans experience emotions such as:

  • Love
  • Fear
  • Joy
  • Sadness
  • Anger
  • Grief
  • Hope
  • Loneliness
  • Shame
  • Compassion
  • Anxiety
  • Desire for belonging
  • Desire to be valued and understood

People may express emotions differently culturally, but the emotional framework itself is universal.

Psychological and Cognitive Commonalities

Humans universally:

  • Think and reason
  • Learn from experience
  • Form memories
  • Dream
  • Use language or symbolic communication
  • Imagine the future
  • Ask questions
  • Seek meaning and purpose
  • Recognize patterns
  • Make moral judgments
  • Experience curiosity
  • Learn through observation and experience
  • Solve problems
  • Form memories
  • Imagine possibilities
  • Create stories, myths, music, and art
  • Seek meaning and explanation
  • Develop moral systems and social structures

Social Commonalities

Humans naturally:

  • Form families and communities
  • Develop friendships and bonds
  • Cooperate for survival
  • Create and value family traditions 
  • Develop and grow cultural traditions
  • Teach younger generations
  • Seek acceptance and identity
  • Establish systems of rules and justice
  • Mourn the dead
  • Celebrate important events
  • Feel the sting of injustice
  • Feel the joy of achievement
  • Feel a sense of justice or fairness
  • Feel concern for family and community
  • Desire the safety and success of their offspring
  • Condemn betrayal and murder
  • Like to laugh
  • Enjoy being entertained
  • Love a good meal
  • Appreciate comfort
  • Crave security
  • Admire courage and sacrifice
  • Respect loyalty and honesty
  • Create rules governing behavior
  • Feel the desire for order and cooperation
  • Have the capacity for both kindness and cruelty

Moral Commonalities

Across cultures, humans generally recognize concepts such as:

  • Fairness
  • Justice
  • Loyalty
  • Responsibility
  • Courage/Bravery
  • Compassion
  • Honesty
  • Protection of the vulnerable
  • Condemnation of needless cruelty
  • Strength
  • Joy
  • Contentment
  • Many many more...

Different societies apply these principles differently, but the underlying moral instincts are nearly universal.

Existential Commonalities

Every human being faces:

  • Mortality
  • Suffering
  • Uncertainty
  • Questions about meaning
  • The awareness of good and evil
  • The desire for significance
  • The longing for love and acceptance
  • The fear of death
  • The search for identity
  • Loss of loved ones
  • The desire for meaning and purpose
  • The desire for significance and personal identity
  • The desire for relationships
  • The fear of loss
  • Questions about right and wrong
  • Questions about what happens after death

Spiritual/Common Religious Themes

Throughout history, humans across nearly every civilization have:

  • Worshiped or sought transcendence
  • Believed in realities beyond themselves
  • Practiced prayer, ritual, or meditation
  • Asked where we came from and why we exist
  • Wondered what happens after death
  • Contemplated the majesty of nature
  • Considered the supernatural or transcendent
  • Engaged in religious practices
  • Engaged in rituals
  • Engaged in a form, or type, of prayer
  • Worshipped a higher power
  • An awareness of guilt and accountability
  • A desire for reconciliation, forgiveness, or salvation

Shared Human Dignity

Many philosophical and religious traditions — including Christianity — hold that all humans possess equal intrinsic worth simply by being human. In Christian theology specifically, all of humanity:

  • Shares a common origin.
  • Shares a fallen condition.
  • Shares moral accountability.
  • Shares the capacity for redemption.
  • Has the capacity for negative behaviors.
  • Has the ability to help others.
  • Has equal value before God.
  • Realizes that everyone eventually experiences suffering.
  • Realizes that everyone desires relationships.
  • Realizes that everyone faces death.
  • Realizes that everyone leaves some kind of legacy.
  • Realizes that everyone depends on others at some point in life.
  • Realizes that everyone is capable of good and evil.
  • Realizes that everyone longs for hope.

While the differences between people are real and meaningful, compared to what humanity shares in common, they are relatively small. Human beings are far more alike than different.

Doing this requires a little empathy!

Here is my plea to mankind. In light of all these similarities, I propose we as humans pull together and focus on our SIMILARITIES and not our DIFFERENCES. Constantly focusing on our differences will divide us. The truth is, our similarities unite us. By focusing on our similarities instead of our differences, we can get to a point where empathy flourishes and we care about each other more. We see ourselves as brothers and sisters, not enemies. We become more tolerant of each other, rather than intolerant. We will start to give each other the benefit of the doubt. We will see others as member of our family, not the enemy. This will encompass all people. ALL humans. Regardless of your skin color, preferences, religion, or cultural proclivities. If we did this, racial tension and injustice would rapidly become obsolete.

I pray that we can make this a reality today!

Thursday, May 14, 2026

The Great London Beer Flood of 1814

 




In 1814, the people of London learned an important lesson: no matter how bad you think your Monday is going, it would be worse if your neighborhood was obliterated by a beer tsunami. For these unfortunates, that HIGHLY unlikely scenario became a reality.

The disaster occurred at the Meux & Co. brewery, which at the time specialized in porter beer and apparently also in storing enough liquid to capsize a medium-sized navy. Their giant wooden vats were roughly the size of apartment buildings and held unimaginable quantities of fermenting beer, because the Industrial Revolution was basically an era where British people looked at every problem and said, “What if we made it much larger and more dangerous?” 

On October 17, one of the enormous iron hoops around a vat slipped off. A brewery clerk noticed this and informed his supervisor, who responded with the timeless management philosophy still used in offices everywhere: “Eh, it’ll probably be fine.” 

Note: It was not fine.

About an hour later, the vat exploded with enough force to trigger a chain reaction that burst neighboring containers, unleashing somewhere between 128,000 and 323,000 bajillion gallons of beer into the streets of London. Historians still debate the exact amount because apparently once your city has been hit by a beer-based natural disaster, precision starts to lose meaning. 

Witnesses described a 15-foot wave of beer roaring through the slums of St. Giles. Imagine standing in your kitchen having tea when suddenly the wall explodes and Guinness itself comes charging at you like an angry ocean. Houses collapsed. Walls shattered. Cellars filled with beer. Panicked residents climbed onto furniture to avoid drowning in what may be the most aggressively British death imaginable. Drunks began throwing themselves, bodily, into the pools of brew.

One group of victims had been attending a wake for a child when the beer flood hit, meaning these people somehow experienced the horrifying distinction of being killed by beer during a funeral. This is the kind of story even Charles Dickens would reject for being “a bit much.” 

A total of eight innocent people died, mostly women and children, while every single brewery worker survived, because history has always maintained a deep and abiding commitment to bitter irony.

Naturally, later legends claimed crowds ran into the streets scooping up beer with buckets, pans, and whatever else they could find, turning the catastrophe into what can only be described as Oktoberfest hosted by Satan. Historians say these stories were probably exaggerated. Apparently Londoners showed remarkable restraint when confronted with rivers of free beer smashing through the city. Which frankly sounds fake to me.

Then came the official investigation, where authorities examined the wreckage, reviewed the deaths, and reached the deeply reassuring legal conclusion that the whole thing was basically an “Act of God.” This was extremely convenient for the brewery because it meant they did not have to pay major compensation. In fact, the British government actually gave them tax relief for the lost beer, which may be the most British sentence ever assembled in the English language. 

So to recap:

A giant vat exploded.
A London neighborhood was hit by a beer tsunami.
Eight people drowned in beer.
The brewery got a tax break.

And today the site is occupied by the Dominion Theatre, proving once again that human civilization is essentially built on layers of chaos, irony, and questionable engineering decisions.

The Grave Robbers (Burke & Hare)

 



This is crazy. In the late 1820s, Edinburgh was one of the intellectual capitals of Europe: a glittering center of philosophy, medicine, science, literature, and apparently, freelancing psychopaths. Medical schools were booming, anatomy classes were packed, and professors desperately needed cadavers to dissect. Unfortunately, British society at the time remained weirdly uptight about allowing Grandma Ethel to be chopped into educational slices by a room full of students with bone saws and sideburns.

This created a severe corpse shortage.

And whenever history produces a shortage, somewhere entrepreneurial men will immediately say, “You know what? There's a market here.”

Enter William Burke and William Hare, two Irish immigrant sunso'bitches whose moral compass had apparently been assembled by raccoons during an earthquake. They ran a boarding house, which in those days was basically a hotel crossed with tuberculosis. One day a tenant died owing them rent money. Most landlords would write this off as a loss. Burke and Hare instead looked at the corpse and thought: “Hold on. What if the dead guy is the payment?”

So they hauled the body over to a guy named Robert Knox at the Edinburgh Medical College, who was apparently operating under the groundbreaking scientific principle of “Look, I’m sure it’s probably fine.” Knox paid them good money, no questions asked, because nothing says “prestigious medical institution” like buying mystery corpses from two sweaty guys who arrived carrying a stinking sack o' death at 2 a.m.

This was the moment Burke and Hare became true visionaries. Unfortunately, they launched the startup field of artisanal murder.

At first they targeted sick tenants. Then prostitutes. Then random strangers. Pretty soon they were basically running Scotland’s least ethical subscription service. Need a cadaver? Just call Burke and Hare! Fast delivery. Locally sourced. Farm-to-dissection-table freshness.

Their preferred murder method was strangulation, largely because it left fewer marks on the body. This technique became known as “Burking,” which is honestly one of history’s greatest branding achievements. Most people struggle to get their names remembered. These guys got theirs turned into a verb meaning “to quietly murder someone for resale purposes.”

And the city somehow kept functioning around this. Imagine strolling through Edinburgh in 1828:
“Lovely weather.”
“Yes, beautiful.”
“Any plans today?”
“Oh, probably avoid being murdered by body snatchers.”

Eventually the partnership fell apart, as many businesses do when built entirely on homicide. William Hare immediately testified against Burke in exchange for immunity, proving that among murderers there is apparently no honor, loyalty, or even the basic courtesy of sticking to the team-building vision statement.

William Burke was hanged publicly before enormous crowds because nothing entertained the 19th century quite like executions. But Edinburgh authorities weren’t done. Oh no. They dissected Burke publicly afterward, which feels less like justice and more like a government employee saying, “You know what? Let’s really commit to the theme here.”

Then, in a final flourish of absolutely unhinged Gothic insanity, parts of Burke’s skin were turned into a book cover. Because apparently someone looked at human skin-leather and thought: “You know what would really improve this library? A crime against humanity.”

That book still exists today near the Royal Mile, which means somewhere in Scotland there is a tourist gift shop where people casually purchase postcards where a murderer was converted into a book.

And the best part is that this whole nightmare circus eventually led to the Anatomy Act 1832, which changed the laws surrounding cadavers so medical schools could obtain bodies legally instead of relying on what was essentially Door-Dash for serial killers.

Wednesday, May 13, 2026

The Thames Torso Murders

 




PART 1

In September of 1873, Londoners received yet another reminder that Victorian England was apparently designed by a deeply troubled goth teenager.

It began when somebody discovered part of a human torso floating along the River Thames. Now, in most cities, finding HALF A PERSON in the river would dominate conversation for years.

But in 19th-century London, people probably just sighed and said:
“Meh. Again?”

Over the following days, police recovered additional body parts one by one, as though the river itself were slowly assembling the world’s least enjoyable jigsaw puzzle:

  • pieces of lung,

  • a thigh,

  • an arm,

  • a foot,

  • a shoulder,

  • and eventually a scalp with the face still attached.

That last sentence is the kind of sentence that makes you grateful modern journalism exists, so nobody has to casually read this over breakfast with bacon and toast.

The skull, meanwhile, was never found. Which somehow made the situation MORE upsetting, proving once again that Victorian murder mysteries always contain the phrase: “And then it got worse.”

The police, determined to solve the crime with the cutting-edge forensic techniques of 1873, decided the best approach would be to PLACE THE SEVERED FACE ON A BUTCHER BLOCK and invite the public to walk by and see if they recognized it.

This was considered an investigative best practice at the time.

Today this would violate approximately 900 laws and at least six podcast ethics guidelines.

Authorities basically held what can only be described as Britain’s worst open house:
“Good afternoon! Tea is in the parlor and unidentified human remains are in the foyer. Feel free to browse them and see if you recognize anything.”

Unfortunately nobody identified the victim. One man thought it might be his missing daughter, which is already an absolutely devastating concept, but alas, he couldn’t say for sure.

So the case went cold.

Then London somehow said: “Wait, there’s more.”

Over the next several years, MORE dismembered bodies appeared near the Thames in 1874, 1887, and 1888. Because apparently the river had become the Victorian equivalent of an human remains evidence disposal unit.

At one point, body parts were even tossed onto property once owned by Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein. Which sounds so absurdly theatrical that if you put it in a movie script, producers would reject it for being “a little over the top.”

Historians still debate whether this was:
A) a deliberate literary reference,
or
B) Victorian London simply continuing to be Victorian London.

Honestly either explanation feels plausible.

The late 1800s in London were basically a nonstop buffet of fog, sewage, crime, industrial misery, gin, horse manure, and serial killers. The city was so grim that even the WEATHER looked guilty.

And hanging over all of this was the inevitable question: Could one of these killers have been Jack the Ripper?

Because whenever there was an unsolved murder in Victorian England, eventually somebody would stand up and say: “Maybe it was Jack the Ripper!”

At this point historians believe the Thames Torso Murders probably involved at least three separate killers, which is not comforting in the least. That is the exact opposite of comforting.

Basically the conclusion is: Victorian London was so catastrophically horrifying that modern criminologists look at these cases and say: “You know what? There may have been MULTIPLE torso-based murderers operating simultaneously.”

Which is basically the absolute worst tourism slogan in the history of tourism slogans.


PART 2

So, these grim unsolved murders have remained unsolved since the late-1800s. Dismembered women kept appearing in and around the River Thames, proving once again that Victorian England was the least relaxing place in human history.

The basic pattern was:

  1. Someone discovers a suspicious package.

  2. Authorities open it.

  3. Everybody immediately regrets this decision.

The murders stretched from the 1870s into the 1880s, though the “official” series usually focuses on four major cases between 1887 and 1889. None were solved. Only one victim was ever identified. Which is unsettling enough already before you remember London at the time ALSO had Jack the Ripper wandering around.

Victorian London was basically Gotham City without a Batman.

Body parts kept showing up in and around the Thames:

  • torsos,

  • arms,

  • legs,

  • occasionally heads,

  • and at least one corpse discovered right near the construction site of the new Scotland Yard headquarters. In your face Scotland Yard!

Imagine being the London police commissioner and learning there is a dismembered body literally buried beneath your new office building.

That is what management experts refer to as a : “concerning workplace indicator.”

In one case, workers building the new police headquarters discovered a woman’s torso hidden in the basement vault. This is the Victorian equivalent of moving into a new apartment and finding the previous tenant forgot to remove an entire homicide.

Police initially wondered whether some of the body parts had been planted by medical students as a joke. This tells you a LOT about Victorian medical schools' sense of humor.

Apparently students in the 1880s were one step away from saying: “Gentlemen, shall we throw a femur at a constable?”

The killer — if it was one killer — seemed to know anatomy fairly well. Bodies were dismembered with enough precision that investigators suspected surgical or butchering knowledge. 

Which led everyone to suspect:

  • doctors,

  • slaughterhouse workers,

  • sailors,

  • madmen,

  • Jack The Ripper

  • and anybody who owned knives larger than average.

Naturally the newspapers went completely bonkers.

Victorian journalism treated serial murder the way modern media treats celebrity breakups. Every discovery became front-page melodrama:
“TORSO IN THE THAMES!”
“ARM FOUND IN MUD!”
“HEAD STILL MISSING!”
“READ MORE AFTER SOAP ADVERTISEMENT!”

And looming over everything was ol' Jack the Ripper.

People immediately started asking: “What if Jack the Ripper ALSO did this?”

Which is understandable because when multiple mutilated bodies are appearing around the same city simultaneously, the human brain naturally wants fewer serial killers, not MORE.

Unfortunately historians mostly think the Thames Torso killer and Jack were probably different people because the methods were different. Jack mutilated victims at the scene; the Torso killer specialized in dismemberment and disposal.

So the comforting answer appears to be: “No, London simply had multiple horrifying murderers operating at once.”

Fantastic.

Modern historians are still debating the whole thing. Some recent researchers think they may have identified a suspect named James Crick, a violent river worker with access to boats and butchering skills.

Which sounds plausible because if your job description in Victorian London involved:

  • barges,

  • hooks,

  • knives,

  • and hauling mysterious packages through fog,

you were automatically at least 40% more suspicious than the average citizen.

The truly amazing thing is that despite all the panic, theories, headlines, and severed limbs, nobody was ever conclusively caught.

So the case remains one of history’s great unsolved mysteries: a sprawling Victorian nightmare involving foggy streets, filthy riverbanks, sensational newspapers, terrified citizens, primitive forensics, and enough detached body parts to make modern criminologists quietly whisper: “What the heck was happening in London?”

And wonder if anyone ever referred to those times as 'the good ol' days.

Frederick Deeming - Victorian Era Whack-Job!

 





Frederick Bailey Deeming (WHO? Keep reading pal!) was basically what would happen if a con man, a Victorian soap opera villain, and a malfunctioning theater actor were all trapped in the same human body.

The man spent the late 1800s traveling around the world committing fraud, marrying women under fake names, murdering entire families, and somehow still finding time to dramatically accessorize himself with jewelry and cigars like he was auditioning for “Murderous Fancy Lad Weekly.”

Deeming started out as a troubled kid in England and quickly developed the important life skill of “becoming somebody else whenever bills were due.” He ran away to sea, traveled internationally, lied constantly, and committed fraud the way other people collect refrigerator magnets.

At some point he apparently decided:
“You know what would really complement my criminal lifestyle? Bigamy.”

So he married multiple women under fake identities while already having a wife and children. Victorian society frowned on this, mainly because it complicated the stationery. 

Then things escalated from “colorful scoundrel” to “Oh Hell No!”

In 1891, Deeming murdered his first wife and four children in England. Not content with merely killing them, he buried their bodies under the floorboards and covered them with cement, because apparently he had watched too much 19th-century HGTV. 

Then — and this is the part where even Victorian police probably paused and said “Good heavens” — he went to Australia, remarried, and murdered THAT wife too, then hid HER corpse under a fireplace. 

The problem with hiding corpses under your house is that eventually neighbors begin asking questions like: “Why does your dining room smell like Satan’s port-o-potty?”

This led police to start lifting floorboards, which is never good news in a murder story. Historically speaking, if authorities begin prying up your floorboards, your week is about to rapidly deteriorate.

Once caught, Deeming became a full-blown media sensation. Newspapers went absolutely berserk over him because he had everything:

  • murder

  • mystery

  • international travel

  • fake identities

  • hidden bodies

  • insanity claims

  • dramatic speeches

  • cigars

  • and possible connections to Jack the Ripper. 

And honestly, Victorian newspapers were basically one step away from printing:
“PSYCHO PLUMBER MAY ALSO BE SATAN.”

Some people thought Deeming WAS Jack the Ripper because:

  • he was violently unstable

  • liked knives

  • traveled a lot

  • already had an extremely troubling resumé.

But historians mostly have concluded that the whole "Deeming is Jack The Ripper" thing is bunk. Mainly because timelines and evidence stubbornly continue to matter.

Still, Mr. Deeming absolutely ate up the attention. While awaiting execution he reportedly hinted he might be the Ripper without fully admitting it, which is the Victorian equivalent of posting vague cryptic tweets for engagement. 

At trial, his lawyers tried the insanity defense, which honestly seems reasonable considering the phrase:
“Murdered entire family and buried them under the floor.”

But then Deeming got up and delivered a long, articulate speech defending himself, thereby accidentally proving to the jury: “This man is clear-headed enough to hang.” 

The public was fascinated. Thousands gathered outside to watch his execution because the 1890s had not yet invented YouTube.

And in perhaps the most Victorian detail imaginable, Deeming walked calmly to the gallows smoking a cigar like a man trying to check into a hotel with no vacancies. 

The whole story feels less like real life and more like somebody put "penny dreadfuls", true crime tabloids, and untreated mental illness into a blender.

It was the Victorian era after all.

Which, to be fair, pretty much sums up the 1890s.

Peter Stumpp, The Werewolf of Bedburg

 






The Story of Peter Stumpp: Werewolf? or World-Class Naughty Person?

So apparently in 1589 Europe looked around at plague, religious wars, torture, political chaos, witch hunts, and people being burned alive, and collectively decided:

“You know what our biggest problem is? Wolves that are actually dudes.”

Enter Peter Stumpp, also called Stubbe Peeter, Stumpf, Stupe, Stumy, the Stumpinator, and approximately seventeen other variant spellings because grammar had not yet been invented. Back then people spelled names the way raccoons fingerpaint.

According to the pamphlets of the day, Peter made a deal with the devil (never a good sign), who gave him a magical belt that transformed him into a giant wolf monster. Which immediately raises important theological questions such as:

  1. Why does Satan always use accessories?

  2. Why belts?

  3. Could this whole thing have been solved by suspenders?

The stories claim Peter spent 25 years roaming around Germany murdering people, eating children, devouring brains, committing incest, attacking livestock, and generally behaving like a man who had clearly never been hugged.

The English pamphlet REALLY leans into this. The author describes Peter’s wolf form like he’s introducing a WWE wrestler:

“GREAT EYES! HUGE BODY! MIGHTY PAWS!”

At no point does anyone say: “Hold on. Maybe this is just a very insane criminal and not an actual wolf-man.”

Nope. No way. Medieval Europe was fully committed to the bit.

The paper’s main point is actually pretty interesting: the story was less about whether Peter literally became a wolf and more about using horror stories as moral instruction.

Basically:

  • Don’t murder people.

  • Don’t eat children.

  • Don’t commit incest.

  • Don’t become a satanic wolf.

  • And if you DO become a satanic wolf, avoid pamphlet writers.

The author argues these stories acted like public-service announcements during a time when Europe was tearing itself apart in the Protestant Reformation and the Wars of Religion. Society was chaotic, the Church had lost some authority, and people needed ways to explain extreme violence (Keep in mind, this was even before Shakespeare's time).

So instead of:
“Socioeconomic instability and confessional fragmentation have destabilized social cohesion…”

they went with:
“MAN TURNS INTO WOLF; EATS BRAINS.”

Which, admittedly, does grab your attention.

The paper also explains how the new printing press technology helped spread the story everywhere. This was basically Renaissance social media. Pamphlets and broadsides flew across Germany into England because people have always loved horrifying crime stories.

In other words:
TikTok did not invent sensationalism.
Humanity has ALWAYS wanted to read headlines like:
“LOCAL WEREWOLF EXECUTED WITH RED HOT PLIERS.”

One especially fascinating part is that the various versions of the story contradict each other constantly:

  • Sometimes Peter uses a girdle.

  • Sometimes a belt.

  • Sometimes his daughter is his daughter.

  • Sometimes she’s his mother.

  • Sometimes he loses a wolf paw that becomes a human hand.

  • Sometimes not.

This strongly suggests that facts were considered more of a “creative suggestion” in 1589.

The paper ultimately argues that Peter Stumpp became famous because his story combined:

  • horror,

  • morality,

  • religion,

  • violence,

  • public spectacle,

  • and brand-new mass media technology.

So basically he was the first true-crime multimedia franchise.

The overall takeaway is that the werewolf story reflected society’s fears about human cruelty. The “monster” represented uncontrolled violence, lust, chaos, and savagery. The gruesome execution, meanwhile, showed society dramatically reasserting order by saying:

“We are civilized people. Which is why we are publicly flaying this man alive with red-hot pincers.”

Human history is complicated.

For more (sober) info, see these websites:

https://www.darkhistories.com/peter-stumpp-the-werewolf-of-bedburg/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Stumpp

https://archive.org/details/TheWerewolfInLoreAndLegend/page/n273/mode/2up



A Great YouTube Channel (Well, I Never...)

 



Here is a marvelous website for anyone who wants to learn about crazy stuff going on in the Victorian and Edwardian eras. True crime, mysteries, and the bizarre...

https://www.youtube.com/@WellINever

Friday, May 8, 2026

Spring-Heeled Jerk, uh... I mean... Jack.

 




The Victorian Pogo-Stick Rider From Hell

Back in 1837, the citizens of England—a country primarily known for bad teeth, damp weather, and the invention of the world’s most unappetizing ways to serve "pudding"—found themselves facing a terrifying new threat. It wasn't the plague, and it wasn't a sudden shortage of tea cozies. It was a guy named Spring-heeled Jack. In England, back then, a lot of naughty people were called "Jack". Okay, proceed.

According to witnesses, Jack was your average, everyday gentleman, except for the minor details that he had claws for hands, eyes like "red balls of fire," and the ability to "vomit blue flames" directly into your face. Also, he liked to jump over 9-foot walls, a feat that usually requires either a professional Olympic training regimen or a rocket up your backside.


The Legend Begins (Or: Why You Should Never Walk Through Clapham Common)

The whole mess started when a "servant" named Mary Stevens was walking home. Suddenly, "Jack" leapt out of an alley, grabbed her with hands that she described as being "cold as a corpse" (not that she'd ever experienced that, I hope), and proceeded to claw at her clothes.

The next day, Jack apparently decided that terrorizing pedestrians was a bit too "entry-level." So he decided to graduate to vehicular mayhem by jumping in front of a carriage, causing the driver to crash, and then escaping by leaping over a wall while laughing like a helium-huffing hyena.

The Lord Mayor Gets Some Very Weird Mail

By 1838, the Lord Mayor of London, Sir John Cowan, was forced to address a "public session" because his inbox was overflowing with letters about a "ghost, a bear, and a devil." Apparently, some high-ranking aristocrats had made a wager to see if their friend could scare seven ladies "out of their senses."

Note: In Victorian times, "losing your senses" was a medical condition that could be cured by smelling salts or, failing that, by being featured in a very dramatic poem.

Despite the police offering rewards, Jack continued his reign of terror. He even branched out into Animal Impersonation, appearing to a gardener in Sussex as a bear that could run on all fours and scale walls. Because if there’s one thing a bear is famous for, it’s its parkour skills.


The All-Star Attacks: Alsop and Scales

The "Lebron James" era of Jack’s career involved two teenage girls, Jane Alsop and Lucy Scales.

  • The Alsop Incident: Jack knocked on Jane’s door pretending to be a cop. When she brought him a candle, he threw off his cloak to reveal a tight-fitting white oilskin suit (essentially Victorian spandex) and proceeded to breathe blue fire at her.

  • The Scales Incident: Nine days later, Lucy Scales was walking home when a gentlemanly figure in a cloak spurted blue flames in her face, causing her to have "violent fits."

Naturally, the police had to make an arrest, so they went ahead and arrested a guy named Thomas Millbank. He bragged about being Jack, he had the white overalls, and he even had the candle. In the Victorian era that was as good as closed-circuit TV footage. But, alas, he was acquitted because he admitted that, like most of us, he could NOT breathe fire, much less BLUE fire. So basically if you couldn't spew blue flames from your talk hole, you clearly weren't "him".


Was He an Alien? A Duke? A Very Bored Gymnast?

For the next sixty years, Jack popped up everywhere from Sheffield to Liverpool. He slapped a sentry in Aldershot and then hopped away while being shot at—proving that either he was immortal or the British Army was using "Stormtrooper Marksmanship."

Theories on his identity include:

  1. The Marquess of Waterford: A nobleman known as "The Mad Marquis" who liked drunken brawls and "brutal jokes." Essentially, he was the Victorian version of a YouTuber who does "PRANKING THE POLICE (GONE WRONG) (I AM NOW A DEVIL)." But he didn't have eyes like "red balls of fire". So there's that.

  2. Extraterrestrials: Some "Fortean" authors suggest Jack was an alien from a high-gravity planet, which explains the jumping. It doesn't explain why an intergalactic traveler would fly across the vacuum of space just to slap a soldier in Lincolnshire, or tear some lady's clothes, but hey, everyone needs a hobby.

  3. Mass Hysteria: The idea that Jack was just a bunch of urban legends, bad lighting, and too much gin. I favor this one. This theory is also known as the "It's All A Steaming Load of Horse Crap" theory.

Eventually, Jack became a media hero, evolving from a fire-breathing sexual predator into a costumed avenger of wrongs. He was basically Batman, if Batman wore a helmet, breathed blue fire, and was a "bear / demon" thingy.

Today, Jack is gone, and utterly forgotten. But his legacy lives on every time someone tries to use a pogo stick while intoxicated, or bares his ass trying to leap over some godforsaken wall. We may never know who he was, but we can all agree on one thing: Victorian London was a much more exciting place to be a dry cleaner.