This French Guy Named Tarrare (He Ate Puppies!)

 

This story haunts me.

There was once this guy named Tarrare — living proof that somewhere in history, the gods looked down at France and said, “What if we made a guy with the appetite of a black hole?”

Tarrare was an 18th-century Frenchman whose defining personality trait was apparently: “I'm still hungry.” Not “I like food.” Not “I enjoy a hearty meal.” No. This man treated the concept of eating the way industrial shredders treat abandoned Buicks.

As a teenager, he could eat most of a cow in a single day and still wander around looking like someone who had just finished a light salad. His family eventually kicked him out because feeding him was economically comparable to feeding a medium-sized army.

So naturally, Tarrare joined a traveling band of thieves, prostitutes, and street performers. And because when you possess the supernatural ability to swallow mounds of apples, rocks, corks, and live animals, the entertainment industry comes a-calling, he became a Paris sideshow attraction, delighting audiences everywhere with acts that caused nauseated spectators to mutter things like, “I wish I had not seen that.”

Doctors later examined him and concluded several important scientific facts, including:

1. He could eat an entire meal meant for 15 laborers.
2. He smelled so horrifying that people reportedly couldn’t stand within 60 feet of him.
3. The approach to medicine in the 1700s was basically “let’s see what happens.”

The descriptions of his body odor are especially impressive. Witnesses claimed he stunk so bad that the stench rose off his body in visible stink lines (like in cartoons) after eating, like a freshly cooked turkey on a cold morning. But with more stink.

Then the French military — displaying the sound judgment for which late-1700s Europe is famous — decided this horrifyingly vile man should become a spy. Their plan was simple: have Tarrare swallow secret documents, sneak behind enemy lines, then… recover the documents later after nature called, through what historians technically refer to as “the worst recovery mission in military history.”

Perhaps not shockingly, this plan did not go well.

The Prussians caught him almost immediately because apparently a stinking, steaming Frenchman frantically asking where the bathroom is tends to attract attention.

Back in the hospital, things somehow became even MORE unappetizing. 

Tarrare drank blood drawn from patients, ate garbage, carrion, body parts in the morgue, cats, puppies, a toddler... Yes, that's right, a toddler went missing, and he was was suspected of eating him (or her) — which is the sort of accusation that can really damage your reputation.

Modern readers naturally wonder: “Was there a medical condition that caused this?”

The answer from history is essentially: “We have absolutely no clue, but let's see what happens.”

Tarrare eventually died at a fairly young age after years of horrifying everyone within smelling distance. I know. You're shocked. During the autopsy, doctors reportedly found his insides were an absolute catastrophe, medically speaking. Ravaged by sores and pus everywhere. Ew!! Which I guess makes sense, because by this point his digestive system had spent years processing a diet consisting mainly of disgusting meat, garbage, and other hideous dinner selections that no self-respecting non-zombified human should ever make.

The whole story is disturbing.

If you want more info, check this out...

https://www.ripleys.com/stories/tarrare