Friends and family are in shock today after the strange turn of events of the previous night. According to witnesses, during a camping trip Greg Maltrow became confused after evacuating his bowels in the woods.
"We heard like this scraping sound and some mumbling. Sounded like Greg was having problems. So his wife Lorraine went in there and, sure enough, he was very confused." Said Artemis Dalrimple, a friend of the family.
Witnesses say Maltrow was on his hands and knees rubbing toilet paper over a gopher hole there in the ground. When asked what he was doing, he replied "I'm wiping my a**."
"He clearly doesn't know the difference." Said Dr. Farel Gongas a human behavior pathologist with St. Margaret Hospital. "His wife says he has also been known to try and shovel dirt into his rectum."
All experts in human behavior are baffled. But one thing is sure. Says Dr. Gongas "Greg doesn't know his a** from a hole in the ground."
Greg Maltrow and daughter Amy.
"Based on recent events, this photo may have a less innocent meaning."
Greg Maltrow and daughter Amy.
"Based on recent events, this photo may have a less innocent meaning."
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